I have longed to be a grandmother for a very long time. While my friends were having them left and right in their forties and fifties, I had to wait until I was sixty for my first. That would be that ever delightful, always imaginative, Sojo. In a couple of weeks, it will mark six years since we met that sweet Sojo. Light of our lives and lift to our souls.
Sojo lives so doggone far away. Sometimes, I almost get depressed about it. I want to hop in my car and take a quick drive over to pick her up from school or sprint over to a ball field and watch her play t-ball. I want to go to her school and see her in a school performance or check out her creations at her school's open house. I want to walk along for her trick-or-treat night on Halloween. Oh my goodness, I want to have her at the table for Thanksgiving. I want to hear about her school day and what she did for her mother on Mother's Day or her birthday. I want to see her mother on those days. Golly, I miss her mother too.
These things are not to be. Her Mama and Baba have chosen international teaching careers and they travel all over the world. Sojo started out in China, where she was born and adopted by them. Off to Thailand and now Saudi Arabia. So very far away. Though I know, this Third Culture Kid is getting a broad education in so many more ways than a kid who grows up in this country, I often wonder if it balances the absence of grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins here in this country. I also know that many of my friends who have oodles and canoodles of grandchildren scattered across town or the state or the country, might not see their grandchildren as often as we see Sojo. We grab every moment we can with her when we can. We travel to see them every other year around Sojo's birthday. They come to Tucson every other Christmas. We hope those are forever standing traditions. We know that as long as our health and money hold out, we will be traveling to see Sojo every other birthday. Unless, there is a country where visas are an issue. And then, there is the summer. Usually, they have eight to ten weeks to spend in Tucson and the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State. The new school isn't as generous with time off, so this summer will be cut short. Did you hear my groan?
We try to give Sojo the best of times and the best of us. There is no time to be tired or grumpy. We don't want her going home thinking we are not the best grandparents in this big wide world. Yes, we do spoil her. We know that she is approaching that age of reason, where we need to cut back on some of that. We don't want her to think she has us wrapped around her little finger, even though she does. So, we have to restrain ourselves and say "no" once in a while. We don't like that at all and we know she doesn't either.
Having been the center of our world for the past six years, I think there may be a wee bit of concern on her part with a new cousin in the mix. She met him at Christmas and was pretty unimpressed. She even asked us on SKYPE one day if we loved her less now that Augie was here. I hope we answered in the most appropriate way for a six year old and a way that set her little heart at ease. The best thing about love is, there is no limit on how much we have to give out. I explained to her that a heart is full of love and as you give love to another person, it keeps filling up with more love to give. There is no less love to give one, because there is another to give love to. This is the same thing I tried to tell her Mama and Uncles when they thought I loved one more than the other. There is always more love to give.
And so, there is this Augie guy that came on the scene six years after his cousin Sojo. Golly, we love him so much. More than Sojo? Not at all. Differently, absolutely. He has been in the same town with us since his birth and that allows us to see him grow and change every week. He lived about 25 minutes from us until this past weekend, where he is now about 5-6 minutes from us. The 25 minutes was great and we didn't mind hoping in the car to visit him, but this 5-6 minutes is the best. I can pop in (invited) and spend a few minutes playing with him while his Mama and Daddy get a couple things done and then, jump in my car and stop at the grocery store and head on home. I don't think I have gone more than 5 days without seeing him since his birth. He knows us and loves us as much as we know and love him. I love the way he reaches for us, hugs us and plants a sloppy kiss on our cheeks or any other place on our face that he might hit. I love that he will be right here, in nearly our backyard and we can pick him up at school, or watch him if Mommy and Daddy want a night out or an afternoon out. I love that we can play with him in the pool, go to little pre-school shows or even be there when he graduates from pre-school and on into other grades for open houses, baseball games or swim meets or whatever his little heart desires. Oh yes, I know they could move to another part of town and we would have to travel to wherever that might be. And yes, I also know that they could choose to move out of the city, the state or the country. And yes, I know that my heart would break once more.
So what does a Popo and Nana do? She sucks it up. She cries a few tears and then picks herself up, dusts herself off and gives thanks to God for a life filled with all that having grandchildren brings. The good, the bad and the Holy. The joys, the laughter, the pride, the struggles, the distance, the closeness, the love. Yes, most of all the love. Be that a smile on SKYPE or a sloppy kiss, up close and personal. I will take it all. Every last moment of it and be thankful for all that it is. Pure JOY.
No comments:
Post a Comment