Bitter Sweet...

Today, was our last day as full-time caregivers for Augie.  Our 10 hours a day, 5 days a week gig is up.  It is a bitter sweet feeling in my heart right now.  Yes, this was a hard gig and it was exhausting for two "older than the normal" grandparents.  Yet, it was so much fun and what a blessing.  Getting to be with this little guy on Fridays since last November and then 5 days a week for the last 6.5 weeks, has been more than we ever expected.  More exhausting, more fun, more educational and my goodness gracious, we have laughed so hard sometimes, tears ran down our faces.  His little antics, his laughter, his joy, his changing right before our eyes.  We have watched him go from a tiny baby into this little independent boy who is walking and talking.  Okay, the talking is babble, but we know, he knows exactly what he is saying and we know it is important stuff.

And so, tomorrow he turns one year old and he is walking.  His daycare requirements are those two things.  You cannot keep a busy boy like him from turning one and walking.  So, next week, we leave on a 3 week trip to see Sojo who will be turning 7 and Augie starts daycare.  When we get back, we will still have him 2 days a week. Thank goodness for that.  I am not sure we are ready to hand him over to anyone but his parents more days than that.

And so, that assignment that we chose to take on in August...  Thank you Sean and Katherine for entrusting your most precious little boy with us.  It has been one heck of a ride.  We are so grateful for having had this time with him.  Our greatest prayer is that we have done a good job and have somehow left a positive imprint on his little heart.  Someday, we hope that he stops at the sound of a bird and thinks of his Granda.  Someday, we hope he puts his hand into a water fountain and as the water drips down his hand, he thinks of his Nana.  Someday, we hope he wonders why these things mean so much to him. We hope that he somehow knows that these are special things we did with him and that is why he stops when he hears a bird or hears the sound of water in a fountain.  We know that we will never hear a bird sing or a water fountain flowing without our hearts fluttering.

Happy 1st Birthday, little man.  Where did the time go...

Why We Tell Our Stories

My creative juices were flowing recently, as I tried to re-create that creativity from a few years back when I made Sojo a birthday banner.  Since Augie will soon be one year old, I thought I should get busy and make him one.  I also wanted to make him a birthday crown.  Here is a preview of part of it.

I had a lot of fun re-creating the birthday banner and fun with the new birthday crown.  I hope that both find their way into every birthday celebration for years to come.  The picture shows just a piece of the banner, which says, "Happy Birthday Augie" along with a banner with the numbers 1-10 to do iron on pics of his birthdays from age one through ten.  A friend, did the embroidery work.  I did all of the sewing.  It is just like Sojo's, except for different fabric and I used iron on felt letters and numbers for hers.  They are not perfect, but as Mother Teresa says, "we cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love".  There is great love in every stitch.  I can't wait to see it hanging on the wall each year for his birthdays, just like I can't wait to see Sojo's soon for her 7th birthday.  The time goes by so quickly and memories are all we have of these fleeting moments in time.  It gives me great pleasure to be a part of these moments...celebrating the gift of life.  Augie won't remember his first birthday, but the pictures will be a recording of it and our memories will be told to him year after year.  One day, he will tell us the stories, as if they were his very own memories.  That is why we tell our stories.  For others to remember...

Nana's Boot Camp, aka, Kindermusik

Well, we are 5.5 weeks into our assignment of watching Augie 5 days a week, while Mama and Daddy work.  The daycare that Mama and Daddy have chosen doesn't take little ones until they are one year old and walking.  So, we have been doing lots of walking and getting closer to the birthday.

In order to help pass the time, I thought that maybe a local music class might help us out. So, off we went take a trial class and immediately registered the little one.  I would love to share some pictures, but the privacy of the other little ones prevents me from doing so  Here is a website in case anyone wants to check it out.  I highly recommend it.  http://musicalsteps.yourvirtuoso.com/components/CourseInfo.html?curriculumId=1835

Now about this "Nana's Boot Camp".  I am the only grandmother there.  This is a class of infants and young mothers.  There are infants from the age of about 4 months to about 16 months in Augie's class. I am guessing most parents are in their 20's and 30's.  Granda went along the first week and plans to help out again next week. It is a 45 minute class and there is lots of music and movement, if you know what I mean.  I am either running after to Augie to make sure he is "gentle" when he wants to touch one of his little friends, or I am picking him up and swinging him or bouncing him to the music.

The name of the class is "Feathers", so one would expect soft tweeting, right?  And, there are lots of bird like songs.  Lots of tweeting and singing. However, the genre of the music varies.  It is exposing him to all kinds of sounds and beats. There are drums, shakers and bubbles with scarves flying.  Augie loves it.  From the moment we open the door and I put him down on the floor, he is happy and joyful.  I wish I had a picture of him to share. He immediately runs over to the drums on the floor and starts his own beat.  He loves the other children and smiles all the time.  You are given your own CD of the music as part of the fee and if I play it at the house, he immediately turns and recognizes the tune.  His little body begins to move.

To say it is not a challenge for a 67 year old grandmother to lift this 23 pound+ little guy and swing him, lift him, chase him and dance with him, would be a lie.  It is definitely a physical challenge.  He falls asleep in the car on the way home and I am right behind him as soon as I place him gently in his bed.  But, to not share that this is a highlight of my week to watch his joy and love for music, would be a disservice to this happy little guy and the program.  He is so energetic, so in-tune with the beat, so interested in other children and the music around him.  He is loved by all as he weaves his way in between the other parents and children. The director and team of this program are so professional and you can see they love what they do.  We are registered for another 7 week session, which will take us into November.  We will see if I have any strength for more after that.  Until then, we will enjoy watching this precious little guy explore new things and make new friends and grow into a boy who enjoys and appreciates music.

Just thinking...in one week, this little guy will be one year old and here he is, spilling joy wherever he goes.

Our Word Is Love

We went to a funeral today.  It was not a somber event.  It was a celebration of a great man's life shared through the Eucharist and the sharing of his family's love and devotion. 

I don't remember the exact date that I met this man, but it was many years ago -- close to 14 or 15, I would guess.  We began going to a new church on the eas tside of Tucson.  We had received a card in the mail telling us we were within the parish boundaries and that the first Mass would be held in a local grade school. We were curious and a bit weary of our present church.  Plus, we have always been "parish boundary" people -- feeling like we should be where God calls us to be.

One of the early blessings of this church for us,  was meeting this man and his wife.  They were so instrumental in this new church, that early conversations around their coffee table, in their home is where this church was conceived.  With the local Bishop's invitation and blessing, mind you.  From the moment you met them, you knew they were God's Grace wrapped up in a big red bow. He was Irish and she was Italian.  What a beautiful mix of spirit.  He with his tall, powerful presence and sense of humor that always brought a smile or laughter.  She with her soft, but powerful presence, that made you instantly sense, she was a woman to be recogned with.  When I say "powerful", I don't mean in a status kind of way. Indeed not. Though they were both highly educated and successful, they were also down to earth and no nonsense people.  Their power came in the knowledge that they knew right from wrong and were not shy to tell you about it. You learned early on what social justice meant to these two. 

He was a dentist who provided free dental care to the poverty stricken of our city one day every month throughout his career and even into retirement.  He provided free dental care to all clergy and religious who came to him.  He was a devoted and loving husband for 58 years and attributed his wife to teaching him about love.  He was the father to six biological children and one son from Sudan whom they called and treated like their own. They mirror his love and devotion to his faith.  He was Papa to 18 grandchildren who adored him.  It was easy to see in their faces and the words spoken that Papa was adored and cherished and will be greatly missed.  They too mirror his love of God and of all.  He has left a legacy of love. 

Together, this man and his wife have given over and over and over to the poor in so many ways.  Ministering to the Lost Boys of Sudan and Refugees from Iraq, as well as the local poor. They were not afraid to make an appointment with the local Bishop and tell him he wasn't doing enough.   When you were around them, you knew you should do more and you knew you could.  I have often told her how "I want to be like you when I grow up". 

They most special part of this service was when several of their grandchildren spoke together about their Papa.  They told us about a Christmas in the 80's when their Papa wrote something an placed it on the fridge forever more because it was his gift to them.  To make a long story short, it was a simple gift.  He talked about love and what it meant and ended with "in our house, the word is love".  That really left an impression on me.  Of course, we all think that our word is love, but how often do we stop and really give it thought and how often do we remind those we love about it.  And how often is our word, not love?  I plan to share this story with our kids and remind them that "our word is love" and the word in their homes should always be "love" to.  I hope the "love" is the word in your house too.

Near and Far

THIS WAS WRITTEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO AND SOMEHOW NEVER GOT POSTED.  I DON'T LIKE TO POST TWO IN ONE DAY, BUT AM AFRAID IT WILL NEVER GET POSTED IF I DON'T,,,,

I have longed to be a grandmother for a very long time.  While my friends were having them left and right in their forties and fifties, I had to wait until I was sixty for my first.  That would be that ever delightful, always imaginative, Sojo.  In a couple of weeks, it will mark six years since we met that sweet Sojo.  Light of our lives and lift to our souls. 

Sojo lives so doggone far away. Sometimes, I almost get depressed about it.  I want to hop in my car and take a quick drive over to pick her up from school or sprint over to a ball field and watch her play t-ball.  I want to go to her school and see her in a school performance or check out her creations at her school's open house.  I want to walk along for her trick-or-treat night on Halloween.  Oh my goodness, I want to have her at the table for Thanksgiving.  I want to hear about her school day and what she did for her mother on Mother's Day or her birthday.  I want to see her mother on those days.  Golly, I miss her mother too.

These things are not to be.  Her Mama and Baba have chosen international teaching careers and they travel all over the world.  Sojo started out in China, where she was born and adopted by them.  Off to Thailand and now Saudi Arabia.  So very far away.  Though I know, this Third Culture Kid is getting a broad education in so many more ways than a kid who grows up in this country, I often wonder if it balances the absence of grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins here in this country.  I also know that many of my friends who have oodles and canoodles of grandchildren scattered across town or the state or the country, might not see their grandchildren as often as we see Sojo.  We grab every moment we can with her when we can.  We travel to see them every other year around Sojo's birthday.  They come to Tucson every other Christmas.  We hope those are forever standing traditions. We know that as long as our health and money hold out, we will be traveling to see Sojo every other birthday.  Unless, there is a country where visas are an issue. And then, there is the summer.  Usually, they have eight to ten weeks to spend in Tucson and the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State.  The new school isn't as generous with time off, so this summer will be cut short.  Did you hear my groan?

We try to give Sojo the best of times and the best of us.  There is no time to be tired or grumpy.  We don't want her going home thinking we are not the best grandparents in this big wide world.  Yes, we do spoil her.  We know that she is approaching that age of reason, where we need to cut back on some of that.  We don't want her to think she has us wrapped around her little finger, even though she does.  So, we have to restrain ourselves and say "no" once in a while.  We don't like that at all and we know she doesn't either.

Having  been the center of our world for the past six years, I think there may be a wee bit of concern on her part with a new cousin in the mix.  She met him at Christmas and was pretty unimpressed.  She even asked us on SKYPE one day if we loved her less now that Augie was here.  I hope we answered in the most appropriate way for a six year old and a way that set her little heart at ease.  The best thing about love is, there is no limit on how much we have to give out.  I explained to her that a heart is full of love and as you give love to another person, it keeps filling up with more love to give.  There is no less love to give one, because there is another to give love to.  This is the same thing I tried to tell her Mama and Uncles when they thought I loved one more than the other.  There is always more love to give. 

And so, there is this Augie guy that came on the scene six years after his cousin Sojo.  Golly, we love him so much.  More than Sojo?  Not at all.  Differently, absolutely.  He has been in the same town with us since his birth and that allows us to see him grow and change every week.  He lived about 25 minutes from us until this past weekend, where he is now about 5-6 minutes from us.  The 25 minutes was great and we didn't mind hoping in the car to visit him, but this 5-6 minutes is the best.  I can pop in (invited) and spend a few minutes playing with him while his Mama and Daddy get a couple things done and then, jump in my car and stop at the grocery store and head on home.  I don't think I have gone more than 5 days without seeing him since his birth.  He knows us and loves us as much as we know and love him.  I love the way he reaches for us, hugs us and plants a sloppy kiss on our cheeks or any other place on our face that he might hit. I love that he will be right here, in nearly our backyard and we can pick him up at school, or watch him if Mommy and Daddy want a night out or an afternoon out.  I love that we can play with him in the pool, go to little pre-school shows or even be there when he graduates from pre-school and on into other grades for open houses, baseball games or swim meets or whatever his little heart desires.  Oh yes, I know they could move to another part of town and we would have to travel to wherever that might be.  And yes, I also know that they could choose to move out of the city, the state or the country.  And yes, I know that my heart would break once more. 

So what does a Popo and Nana do?  She sucks it up.  She cries a few tears and then picks herself up, dusts herself off and gives thanks to God for a life filled with all that having grandchildren brings.  The good, the bad and the Holy.  The joys, the laughter, the pride, the struggles, the distance, the closeness, the love.  Yes, most of all the love.  Be that a smile on SKYPE or a sloppy kiss, up close and personal.  I will take it all.  Every last moment of it and be thankful for all that it is. Pure JOY.   

Your Mission Should You Choose To Accept It....

I loved the original TV series of Charlie's Angels.  Maybe I just loved the glamour of the girls or the excitement of their assignments.  Imagine wearing high heels and doing what they did.  Actually, I think I just liked John Forsythe's voice and the mystery of it all.  And, I love the name Charlie, but that's another blog, someday.

So where am I going with this...

Sometime back, we were asked or maybe we just volunteered.  Who knows.  With this kind of assignment, does it really matter?

Katherine took 10 months off work to be with Augie in those early days. It was certainly a financial sacrifice and took a lot of juggling to be able to do it, but I think everyone would agree, it was the best decision ever.  Unfortunately, her school wouldn't allow her to take anymore time off and guarantee her teaching position there,so off she went mid-August to teach full-time again.  Her assignment of being away from Augie may just be tougher than ours.

Our assignment, and we chose to accept it was to have Augie 9-10 hours a day, 5 days a week for 6 1/2 weeks.  His daycare center, that has been carefully chosen, does not accept children until they are one year old and walking.  Piece of cake, we thought.

Augie arrives with Daddy and/or Mama around 6:45 am.  We have breakfast, play, read books, go outside to watch the birds, have a snack, play some more, read some more and repeat again and again.  This takes up about 10 minutes.  I think we had forgotten just how short the attention span of an 11 month old is.

To say this job is easy would do a disservice to all parents who go through these early years.  It also, would be an out and out lie. It is the toughest thing we have ever had to do...physically and mentally.  You have to put 100% into this baby thing.  It is not for the faint of heart or weak in body or spirit.  There are days when we wonder if we can do it one more day.  And then, we get a good night's sleep and we are ready again.

The reward is the warm smile we get each morning and the laughter and giggles throughout the day.  It is seeing him respond to a new toy or a book or our voice.  It is hearing new sounds come from his tiny mouth.  It is watching him clap his hands in delight or to the sound of "pat-a-cake".  It is watching him learn to navigate those first steps.

We didn't have these moments on a regular basis with Sojo.  We had to settle for Skype and summer visits to catch up with her development.  Don't get me wrong...I love Skype and am grateful beyond measure for it.  Yet, I see the difference and am grateful beyond measure for this opportunity to be with Augie in these early months.  I am grateful that his parents trust us with their most precious treasure.  We know that he will not remember these days, but our pray is that somehow we will leave a positive imprint on his little heart that he will carry with him all the days of his life.  We will tell him stories and these days will become memories through the stories, if not his own.

Yes, we are blessed beyond measure through these tiring days.  Now, I must go...he is taking a "power nap" and I should be doing the same.  I will need more strength for the next shift.

Much gratitude for his Granda who loves him as much as I do and is a tremendous source of help.  I often wonder how I raised three kids while he worked.  Oh yeah...I was 45, 42 and 35 years younger than I am today.

Thank you God for the gift of these precious grand-children of ours.