Countdown

If I take a moment and think about the craziest place in the world I ever expected to visit or contemplate living for 5 months, it would never in a million years, be Saudi Arabia.  Yet, here I am beginning to pack for a trip that will be anywhere from three to five months.  In eleven days, we leave

I still find myself dreaming of six to nine grandchildren.  I still find myself dreaming of them living with their parents near me.  And when I say near, I mean near.  Like one to my left and one to my right and the other right smack across the street.  But here I am, beginning to pack for a trip that will take me thousands of miles across the seas and sands to be close to my only two grandchildren.

It is a crazy world, a crazy life.  I don't think there is anything I wouldn't do for my kids and grand kids or anyplace I wouldn't go.  And so, I begin to pack for that trip.  There are four suitcases sitting on our bed waiting to be filled with whatever we think we will need for this extended trip of ours.  Mind you, after two weeks, I begin to get antsy and want to be in my own bed on my own turf.  Breathe, Helen.

So what does this all mean?

1. We will be caregivers and lovers of that sweet,  sometimes loud and always active Augie during the work week, until adequate and loving daycare can be provided for him.
2. On weekends, we will travel an hour to spend time with our delightfully charming Sojo.  
3. We will be a part of Tara, Dale, Sojo, Sean, Katherine and Augie's lives for 5 months. 
4. We will experience life as a Catholic Christian in a Muslim country.  
5. We will spend birthdays and holidays until the end of the year with Tara.  This is something we have not done in over 20 years.  A toddler's 2nd birthday, a big girl's 8th birthday, her Daddy's 47th birthday,Halloween, her Mama's 46th birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  That's a lot of celebrating in 5 months.  Woo...hoo!!!
6. We may have some time to travel around the middle east.  Maybe Petra, Jordan or Muscat, Oman or Qatar.  
7. We will see LOTS of camels.
8. We will witness sunsets and sunrises like we have never seen.
9. We will live in a structured and protected compound that will be just like a small city or large gated community.  
10. I will wear an abaya and cover my hair when I leave the compound.  
11. We will hear the "call to prayer" from a loud speaker 5 times daily.  The sound is hauntingly beautiful.  It reminds me of some of the Gregorian chants I have heard.  
12. We will learn about another culture; one that we know little about.  
13. We will see sights and sounds and colors and smells that we have never seen, heard or smelled before. 
14. We will eat foods that we have never eaten before.
15. We will have many familiar American sights, sounds, colors and smells surrounding us.
16. We will watch the temperatures go from near 120 degrees Fahrenheit when we arrive to a very pleasant 74 degrees when we are ready to leave.
17. We will experience a lot of things we never knew or thought of.
18. We will be blessed by every thing.
19. We will miss certain foods, sights, conveniences, people, things we know and love.
20. We will miss Matt, Cathy and Aero more than we know.

I recently read something that seemed to fit our situation to a "t".  "when a blessing is being offered to you, you need to let go of something else in order to be able to grasp the blessing".  I am letting go of my fears, apprehensions, anxieties, concerns and reaching out for the newness, adventure and blessings being offered.  It is all good and all blessing.  Maybe I should get back to that packing.

Priceless

I thought I had posted this from our March trip to Saudi, but I guess I did not....

We have traveled close to 10,000 miles to watch our grand-daughter's first performance in "Alice in Wonderland".

We, or should I say, I...have often commented, or should I say, complained...that we never get to see Sojo in her daily everyday life. We are blessed to get to see her 24/7 during the summer and some Christmases, but the daily grind? Not so much. So, when it was suggested that maybe we might want to come and see her as a "baby pigeon" in Alice in Wonderland, we jumped at it.  Sure, we thought it a bit frivolous and even decadent maybe.  I mean, who does this kind of thing other than the rich and famous?  Okay, so we will be leaving our grand-children with memories and not money when we die.  I personally, think that is far more important.  Let them make their own fortunes...we will spend ours being with them while we can.  So, off we flew to Saudia Arabia to see our star in the play.

We are here for seven days.  So far, we have seen the play two nights.   It is scheduled for three shows and we will be at the final performance tonight and will be filled with the same joy, pride and excitement that we were the first night.

Hours spent researching and booking tickets:  many
Money spent on those tickets: you don't want to know
Hours getting here:  too many
Seeing your grand-daughter in a play for the first time:  ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS

Would we do it again?  God willing and the cricks don't rise...you betcha

My Epiphany

As I sit here in the quiet glow of those days after Christmas...those days when the hustle bustle is over and the peace and  joy of what just happened is more evident than any of those days leading up to it...I ponder the meaning of it all.

I always want to make Advent meaningful and somehow the commercialism and the hustle bustle seem to get in the way.  From the decorating that begins the day after Thanksgiving to the cards that I want to get out the beginning of December, that never seem to get out until a few days before Christmas.  From the gift selections to the baking and back again, to the gift selections that don't seem quite right and need to be returned and another purchased.  From the laundry and cleaning that still need to be done during this time to the parties to prepare for or go to.  And, don't forget the wrapping of those gifts and other odds and ends that find their way into the Christmas mix. Somehow, all of these things get in the way of "preparing the way" for Christmas.

It is the quiet days after Christmas that fill me with the "presence" of the infant Jesus and the man Jesus, of long ago. The Christmas Story is a beautiful one; one of hope and promise.  Yet, it is the Jesus that walked this earth, teaching us about peace, hope, joy, compassion, forgiveness, equality, inclusiveness, justice and love, that I really want to focus on and follow. So, maybe I am not so far off in waiting until the "dust settles", to allow it all to sink deep into my being.  To feel His breath within me, as I breathe.  There is something powerful about this quiet, that waits for the world to be quiet before it revels itself.  Maybe that is why the Wise Men waited until Epiphany to go and adore Him by bringing gifts.   Maybe we have it backwards.  Maybe we should do the commercial Christmas that seems to have overtaken our modern world, and then really celebrate with the Wise Men on Epiphany.  I think I will make Epiphany my new day to celebrate and adore Him.  I am glad it is on a Sunday this year and will be celebrated within the Mass.

 Epiphany means to have an "enlightened realization, allowing something to be understood from a new and deeper perspective".  I like this definition. I like the idea that maybe I have understood Christmas from a new and deeper perspective this year.  May Jesus revel himself to you this year in a new and deeper way. 

'Tis The Season for Making Memories

I don't think there is a time of the year that I treasure more than Christmas.  It is filled with memory making opportunities are every turn.

When Ron and I got married, we packed our family traditions and brought them with us.  Of course, there was some compromising to be done.  I opened my presents at Midnight on Christmas Eve.  To him, that was totally wrong.  Christmas morning was the time to open presents.  So, we compromised. We open one small gift, on Christmas Eve and our children were allowed to do the same. With grand-children, they are given that opportunity too.  But, just one.

Another tradition was going to Mass. Now that I was an official Catholic, going to Mass Christmas Eve seemed like the thing to do.  Plus, in those early years, we would go "home" on Christmas Day, so this allowed us time for Mass and time to make the trip home in the morning. How we loved walking from our little apartment to our church that was...probably, 6-7 large city blocks away.  I remember so clearly, being bundled up with heavy winter coats, scarves, gloves, hats and anything else that might keep us warm.  I remember, with a smile on my face, how we would stop on every man hole cover along the way and feel the warmth of the steam rising from them and then hurry along our way.  It was so very special, walking home along the same path and knowing we were creating our family traditions.

Through the years, that tradition changed as children came along.  Going to Mass is one of those traditions that will always remain, no matter where or how our family changes.  From going to Midnight Mass as newly married, to Christmas morning with small children, to Midnight Mass with teenagers and young adults to the Children's Mass at 4:00 PM with grand-children.  Whether it is watching a toddler walk down the aisle, all decked out in a red sequined hat and scarf to the front row or watching a jet-lagged six year old sleep through it all.  Whether it is watching an infant asleep in his carrier on his first Christmas Eve or watching him toddle up the aisle this year.  No matter when we go, it is where our Christmas is rooted.  In the love and hope and peace of that first Christmas.

A big tradition we have is one I brought into our family.  The only one I treasured as a child.  One that made me feel very special.  My family would place my baby rattle on our tree, as the very first ornament to go on.  We brought that into our family and as each child left home, got married and started their own traditions, their baby rattle went with them.  Ron was the only one who didn't have one over the years and one year Tara surprised him with his very own.  It is easy to see it is not of the 1943 circa, but it is very special to him.  Needless to say, there were a few tears shed that year.

Other traditions that we have always had and have remained, are our Advent Wreath and candles.  Each child would have their chance to light the candles.  It was a big deal in our house when they were growing up.  It has remained so for Ron and I.  We still light the candles, even if it is just the two of us.  Another, is the Nativity.  Our first one, was a small music box with just three angels and the baby Jesus.  We bought it at Kaufmann's Department Store in downtown Pittsburgh.  It still sits on a shelf, albeit with one angel's head glued and another angel's wing missing.  Our next one was one we made in a ceramic class.  One year Ron built a fairly large stable for us, out of weathered oak from my parent's garage.  It wasn't large enough to hold the 3 pieces we had made in that ceramic class, so we made a smaller set, that grew to include shepherds, wise men, angels and animals.  That is the one that was the "center piece".  However, many others have followed and you can find one in almost every room of our house.  Many are from countries where Tara has lived.

Over the years, coming home from Mass has changed, but since the kids have been adults, creating their own traditions, we come home to share a simple meal and sit around the tree with a warm fire in the fireplace.  This year, a toddler will open his first gift on Christmas Eve at Nana and Granda's.  The best part of a child joining in, is that some traditions will remain and others will change.  Change is good.  Traditions that remain are good.  It is all good and all building memories.

To memories that remain and memories that grow, and those that change
.

Pumpkin Patch

Of course, we know that Augie is far to young to even know what a  pumpkin is and we also know that taking him to the "pumpkin patch" is for us, more than him.  But golly, it is fun anyway and we will have lots of pictures and stories to tell him about our trip the other day.  We are creating memories, and isn't that really what all these little adventures are about?

He looks like he is definitely on the hunt for that perfect pumpkin.

And Nana is looking for that perfect photo op without injuring the poor child. Note that she is hanging onto his little butt.

This one might work Nana.

Nah, let's keep looking.

I think I found the perfect one Nana and I can carry it all by myself.  Yep, this one is perfect.  Do you think we can come back here in December and see what they have?  

It was a fun afternoon, making memories, filling our hearts with the wonder of a small child.  

The Artist

Sojo is a very unique little girl  She never ceases to amaze me with her creativity and little mind that weaves in   and out of being sporty with her soccer and baseball and on to being creative with art and simply having fun with games on her IPad or playing with her friends.

Last summer, we gave her a book titled "My Little Orsay".  It is a book geared to children her age and takes several pieces of art, in which the goal is to go to the Musee d'Orsay in Paris and find these pieces.  And that we did.  It was so much fun to see this Musee in a much different way than we did some 17 or so years ago when we first visited it.  We stood in line with the knowledge that we would be seeing it through Sojo's eyes.  So, we each set out to find the pieces of art.  The one I found was the "red dog" by Paul Gauguin.  It is actually titled, Arearea,   was painted in 1891 in Tahiti and I guess not well received. We certainly liked it though.   It is said that it represents where dream and reality coexist.  I think that is a good way to express oneself through art.

As Sojo would walk from room to room with us finding each piece along the way, she would often find a chair and sit down; taking out her sketch pad and doing some drawing of her own.

  

    

The finished product...a family portrait of us all in front of the Eiffel Tower.  Note the bird...which was in the original photo that she used as her muse. 

It was one of those days that left an imprint on my heart that will forever remain and bless me at every thought it brings.  

We Will Always Have Paris

Our week in Paris with the "E" family sure flew by.  It almost seemed the arrived and left on the same day.  But, my oh my, we had a grand time.

Sometimes, I had to pinch myself to make sure it wasn't all a dream.  When Tara was born almost 45 years ago, I certainly never thought about spending a week with her and her family in Paris.  My greatest dream for her was to simply be a healthy and happy little girl.  To grow up in a happy and healthy home filled with the kind of love that would nurture her and provide her with the tools she would need to grow into a happy and healthy woman.  I looked at that sweet baby girl and thought about all the opportunities she would have to grow up to be anything she wanted to be.  Unlike my life, being told I could or could not do something because I was a "girl".  I knew this little girl would never be told that.  She might not be able to do something for other reasons, but NEVER would being a female keep her from anything.  My prayer, hope, dream was, that being a female would only open more doors for her.  

And so, she did.  She has been able to follow her dreams and has allowed them to take her far beyond anything I ever dreamed of.  She has traveled to more cities, countries and continents than I ever dreamed she would.  I simply wanted her to get an education and have a career that supported her dreams and provided for her in an adequate fashion financially.  When she went off to Ecuador over 20 years ago, I remember her saying to me, "Mom, don't worry, I am going for one year, two at the most".  I have watched her disappear through departure gates and security gates and on this trip,I watched her and her husband and daughter walk away from me down a narrow Paris street in the early morning golden glow of the street lights.  It looked like something out of a movie.  They had planned to walk to St. Germain de Pres and catch a taxi to the airport, but a taxi came by on Rue du Dragon and stopped.  When I saw them begin to put their suitcases into the taxi, I couldn't restrain myself.  I needed one last hug this time.  I couldn't just watch them disappear again without another hug.  As I began to run and at my age, that can be a challenge, but I felt an energy that I didn't know I had.  Suddenly, I see them all in the taxi but Dale and I called out to him to wait.  I sprinted those last few steps and leaned into the taxi to give my little girl and her little girl one last hug.  Tears are filling my eyes as I write.  Will I ever get used to saying goodbye?  I don't think so.  I am so blessed.  I have a daughter who wants to be with me and her father.  She wants to share her daughter and husband with us.  She wants to share as much time as she can with us.  It isn't always easy, but she finds a way.  Why can't I just let go of the emptiness I feel when she leaves?  It is a challenge, but I have made progress over the years.  I no longer get moody the day before she leaves.  I cherish the moments we have and don't waste time on that loss I feel.  I look forward to planning the next time we will all be together.

And so, the empty and hollow feeling comes and goes.  I can't stop it.  But, I can work with it and not allow it to control how we roll with it.  We make the most of our times together and we are so blessed by it.  And goodness gracious, who can complain about trips to places like Paris to meet and explore the streets, museums, metros, gardens, monuments, bakeries and cafes?  Whenever I feel blue and whenever we talk about it or whenever we think about our times together, our new phrase to one another is, "we will always have Paris".  Yes, my sweet and beautiful daughter, "we will always have Paris" and all the other ordinary moments of life.  We are blessed beyond measure.